Author: Parent Cue

She Laughs at the Time to Come

April is National Autism Awareness Month. Autism is  a condition which is now thought to affect a staggering 1 in 88 children. With so many parents and families affected by an increasing rate of autism, we wanted to highlight a few stories this week on Orange Parents, not only to bring HOPE to those families but to remind the rest of us to be an encouragement and support for them. Guest post by Sandra Peoples One of the hardest parts of being the mom of a special needs child is the unknowable future. Even when the child is progressing (and our son is) you don’t know if it’s enough. You don’t even know what enough is. Our son was diagnosed with autism soon after he turned three years old. The team who evaluated and diagnosed him said, “He’s so cute! He’ll be fun to work with and we’re sure he’ll make progress.” But “progress” is a very loosely defined word in the autism world. Autism is called a spectrum disorder, because each person with autism has it to a different degree. And next year as the changes to the DSM-V take effect, the differences between two children with the diagnosis of “autism” will be even greater when the Asperger’s and PDD-NOS subcategories are eliminated. Instead of laughing at the time to come, like the Proverbs 31 woman (Prov. 31:25), some...

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Hope on a Napkin

Her voice was a whisper, “What are you doing?” I whispered back, “Not much, what are you doing?” In a guilty voice, she explained she was calling from the garage because she was hiding from her five-year-old twin boys, who had just removed the bedroom door from its hinges while having a ‘quiet time.’ They hadn’t busted the door, they had actually removed the screws using parts of their Junior Explorer Tool Set. “I think my kids might be wild Indians, and I decided to eat Oreos in the garage. It’s me that needs the quiet time.” Her voice sounded guilty, so I reassured her that I had had similar thoughts. I remembered standing in the middle of the kitchen watching a tantrum from my daughter that had reached biblical proportions and wondering what it would be like to move to Australia. Why Australia? Because it was the farthest away place I could think of. Parenting is like this sometimes. It’s a conundrum of the happiest moments of your life mixed with ones that make you want to run from the room screaming. How many times do I have to repeat myself? Who the heck is listening to me anyway? I can’t even get the dog to mind, what the heck am I doing? If you’ve ever had thoughts like this, you’re not alone. I think back to a...

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Family Voice

Here’s an article we pulled from the archives that is worth taking a second look. Leave us a comment! What does your family voice sound like? by Carey Nieuwhof There’s this thing that I believe every family has. I don’t actually know what to call it. If we were having a conversation, I wouldn’t be able to imitate it. But I know it when I hear it. I hear it in shopping malls, in crowds, when families get into and out of their homes and cars, at resataurants, and when I’m a guest in someone’s home. I’ve heard it for years in my home. And I have one too. What is it? This isn’t the scientific name for it at all, but in my head I call it family voice. You know what I’m talking about. It’s the tone of voice you would never use except around the people closest to you.  It contains hints of expectation, exasperation, frustration and quiet fatigue. Add in tones of command, whining and a touch of rudeness, and you’ve got family voice. Sometimes it’s strong.  Sometimes it’s subtle. But all the time it’s reserved for the people you live with. If you used it at work, you’d be shunned or maybe even get fired. If you used it in your social circle, you’d have no friends. You’re likely distant enough as a grown adult...

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The Art of Discipline: Making It Helpful

Shepherding the hearts of our kids is one of those daily behaviors that does more to refine and challenge me than anything else in my life. In my interactions with my kids, God reveals more to me about my own humanity than I care to know. Particularly in disciplinary situations. One thing I’ve learned about kids is that I cannot control their actions. There are times when I try. There are times I guide, nudge, remind, even harass… yet, in the end, they decide what action they will take. Not me. I don’t know about you, but that really gets under my skin. It’s something I have to actively submit to the Father asking Him for guidance and patience. Recently He brought Ephesians 4:29 back onto my radar. “Don’t say anything that would hurt [another person]. Instead, speak only what is good so that you can give help wherever it is needed. That way, what you say will help those who hear you.” (GWT) It’s a timely reminder for me that my role as mom is to Fight for the Heart of my kids, to create a culture of unconditional love in my home that fuels their emotional and moral health. Approaching discipline in a way that is helpful takes practice, planning and patience. I’ve got to practice they way that I talk to my kids. That means that through my everyday...

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What Every Dad Should Know About His Daughter

by Gina McClain Several weeks ago I was dropping my daughter off for a birthday party. As I was leaving a man stopped me asking for directions. He was standing with one of my daughter’s school friends.  Immediately recognizing her, I put my hand out and introduced myself explaining that our daughters sit together at lunch often. His reaction was sarcastic as he gave his daughter a side-ways glance. He made a negative comment regarding his daughter as he looked at her. Her response to him led me to believe those interactions are common. Witnessing the exchange made me sad. I drove away thinking of all the little things we can do as parents that either build up or tear down the hearts of our kids. It’s challenging to articulate the influence a father has on a little girl. How much of his attitude and actions toward her can determine her future relationships. I remember how much stock I placed in what my dad thought of me. I remember how much I wanted him to be proud of me. To affirm me. To show me my value. I remember how he would brag about me on the sidelines of the soccer field. How he would tell me I’m beautiful. How he would hug me so hard I couldn’t breathe. How often he reminded me as a teenager, “Never date...

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