Author: Parent Cue

Imperfect Moments

By Karen Wilson I love hearing Reggie and Carey reiterate how important it is to invest in our kids in the here and now, cherishing the moments because they go by so quickly. Being reminded of this makes me more intentional about the time I have with my young ones. My family set aside time for some fun together this past weekend. All of us had this perfect picture in our heads about what it would be like. (Something like the picture above.) It’s funny how things don’t usually turn out the way we plan. We packed our bikes up and headed to a beautiful local trail. My eight-year old’s tires were low on air. After only 10 minutes of riding, Elijah was miserable and complaining. This was not at all what he had in mind. I eventually snapped at him and told him to fall behind so I wouldn’t have to hear him whine. Dad had already ridden off to escape the negativity. Sara, my six-year old, was upset because we weren’t together in a pack­–as a family–which is what she had in mind. Later that night, after Elijah’s team unexpectedly lost their first football game (another disconcerting event), we ordered pizza and started playing cards. A neighborhood kid came over and wanted to be included. When we included her, Elijah ran to his room upset because it...

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The Parent Trap

Chuck Bomar, a friend of ours here at Orange, has a big heart for college-age people. He has recently written a book directed toward parents and leaders of those who are college-aged to help bring comfort, understanding and direction. Here is an excerpt and some comforting words to those in this stage of parenting from his newly released book World’s Apart: If you are a parent, there is a reality you must be aware of: Your child desires a relationship with you. There might be some obstacles for you here. Most children have crept away from you relationally, at least some degree, throughout middle and high school. They moved from never wanting to leave your side to wanting to be dropped off two blocks away to now pursuing relationships with other people who will whelp them find out who they are apart from you. But make no mistake about it, they can never fully separate. They never stop needing their parents. It’s just that we need to adapt as parents. Regardless of what you may feel or what your child may have said last week, a relationship with you is more than a need. It’s a desire. The truth is most children don’t want to separate either. You are your child’s parent. That is a space nobody else in the world can fill. And no matter how broken your...

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Like Fine China

What happens every day in your home defines what normal becomes for your family. It may become normal to go camping every summer. It might become normal to eat turkey at Christmas but have hamburgers on Saturday. Normal might include going to school, spending an hour on homework after school, going to the movies once a month, having friends over every Friday night, and knowing that Dad is passionate about keeping his car in great shape. Parents determine what’s normal by the rhythm they establish in their homes. So—and here’s the key question—how normal is God in your home? Some of us are just old enough to have still received fine china as a wedding gift. These days, we’re wondering why it was a priority, because we never use it. Our kids don’t see it as normal because it rarely comes out of the cabinet. When it does come out, the kids figure someone special must be coming over, everyone’s concerned about whether it breaks or not, and we all tend to get a little more uptight. Consequently, our china set has missed a lot over the life of our family. It missed almost all the conversations we’ve had over dinner. It missed the laughter, the wrestling after supper, and some hilarious times with the four of us and with friends. It missed all the practical jokes we’ve played...

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One Man’s Treasure

One of our writers at Orange, Tim Walker, posted this article on his blog as he reflected on his son’s first day of high school. At the beginning of another school year for all of us parents, it’s a good reminder of how quickly time passes and how to treasure those few moments we have left. Can you relate? I heard it, but I didn’t believe it. I thought it was something that just happened to other people. I thought it was something that happened to people who were too sentimental, or too unappreciative of today. I was wrong. It’s happened to me. Today my oldest son started high school. Class of 2015. This is 2011. Do the math. That’s not very long. “It goes so fast.” “Treasure the moments.” When I heard those phrases, I just nodded my head in agreement. Sure there have been times when I did want it to go fast. Like when I was changing diapers all day long. Or constantly watching over him. I couldn’t wait for my kids to become more independent. Now i’m missing a little of that dependence. I know these words have been written by every parent. And I know that I’m not alone by any means. And I’m not even sure how I could have treasured those moments more. I lived them. I survived them. I pushed through them. But “treasure”—what...

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Children Are Like Dogs

The middle school years are a time of transition—both for your kids and you as a parent. One of our staff members heard the following excerpt at a parent middle school orientation, and if you’ve raised a child through the middle school years, you’ll find this analogy is quite accurate. If you haven’t reached this milestone yet, store these words away for future reference. When Children Turn Into Cats Adair Lara Have you ever realized that children are like dogs? Loyal and affectionate, but teenagers are like cats… It’s so easy to be a dog owner. You feed it,...

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