Gerald Fadayomi, a youth pastor at Browns Bridge Church, a North Point Ministries church in Cumming, Ga., joins host, Carlos Whittaker, to talk about the key role your high schooler’s community plays in his or her life.

YOUR CUE

  • Ask questions. Be curious about who your kid is and who he or she spends their time with. Ask them all the questions — how they spent their time that day, what’s going on in the lives of their friends…everything. The more questions you ask, the better you get to know them.
  • Remember, you’re the parent. Sometimes as parents, we have to make the unpopular decisions because we know how much they will benefit our kids later on. So if you have an antisocial kid who’d rather watch Netflix than hang out with their small group or a teen who’s hanging out with the wrong crowd, sometimes you’ll need to lead them in the correct direction no matter what.
  • Ask your kid, “Who’s your best friend and what do you love about them?” This question will speak volumes to where your child is mentally by getting to know who he or she considers their best friend and the qualities they admire. Remember, friendships change so ask this question regularly.

EPISODE RECAP

When your kids are younger, it’s easy to know their friends — you’re the one taking them to play dates and birthday parties and places where kids their age like to hang out. When they get older, though, and when your kids move away from telling you every detail of their day, it’s difficult to know with whom they spend most of their time.

The teenage years — especially around the age of 16 — are the most critical time in a teenager’s life. They’re moving away from the peer group you helped them form and are starting to cultivate their own. This community of friends will have a huge impact on what they do, say, and think.

Gerald Fadayomi, a youth pastor in Cumming, Ga., has spent the last six years building relationships with teenagers and sharing wisdom with them in hopes they don’t make some of the unwise choices he made when he was their age. A turning point in his life, Gerald says, is when he got involved with other positive teens his age.

Gerald says one thing a parent can do to stay connected to their teenager and influence their choice in friends is to ask questions. Ask your teen who their three best friends are and what they like about them — hopefully, your questions will lead them to some self-discovery about who they decide to surround themselves with.

To learn how to help your kids build their community (including your introverts!), what to do when your kids have an unhealthy community, and more helpful tips, be sure to tune into this week’s podcast!

 

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

QUOTES IN THIS EPISODE

VOICES IN THIS EPISODE

Heather Whittaker

HEATHER WHITTAKER

Carlos Whittaker, Parent Cue Live Host

CARLOS WHITTAKER

Carlos is an author, speaker, and content creator living in Nashville, TN with his wife Heather and 3 kids Sohaila, Seanna, and Losiah. He is addicted to social media, his wife’s enchiladas, and is determined to have his daughters teach him to land a backflip on the trampoline by the time he is 45.

Kristen Ivy - Parent Cue Live Host

KRISTEN IVY

Kristen is the Executive Director of Messaging at Orange, Director of The Phase Project, and co-author of Playing For Keeps and It’s Just a Phase – So Don’t Miss It. She combines her degree in secondary education with a Master of Divinity and lives with her husband, Matt, and their three children, Sawyer,  Hensley, and Raleigh, in Cumming, GA.

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