Your Mother Would be Ashamed If…
she saw you treat another mother that way.
I have four children. They are all over twenty. So it’s easy to forget how complicated the infant years actually were.
I was on a plane a few months ago sitting directly in front of a mom with a newborn. (I bet you know where this story is going.) Actually, her baby was amazing. Not one whimper the entire two-hour flight.
But the other baby that was directly across the aisle was not so quiet. I honestly believe there was only one ten-minute stretch where this kid was not wailing. It was the kind of scream that hurts your teeth if you are sitting within one hundred feet. The mother tried everything she could think of—toys, videos, pacifier, food, wine. Nothing worked.
You could tell the mother was extremely stressed and a few of the passengers were pretty irritated.
There was a lady in front of me who kept turning around and glaring backward across the aisle every few minutes. She would roll her eyes, sit back down in her seat and mumble a complaint loud enough for everyone to hear. At one point she actually stood up and glared at the mom with the infant for a few seconds as if to say, “Can’t you control your screaming baby?”
By the time we landed everyone was pretty nervous and exhausted. When we pulled into the gate, people began to stand up and get their luggage. That’s when the lady in front of me turned and looked at the quiet child sitting directly behind me. She raised her voice so the other mother could hear and said, “Thank you for being such a good baby.”
I turned and looked at the mom with the crying child in time to see her turn red and drop her head in embarrassment. My biggest regret that day is I didn’t look the rude lady in the eye and say, “What did you say? Your mother would be ashamed if she saw you treat another mother that way!”
Now, every time a baby starts crying, and I’m around non-mothers or adults who are not accustomed to infants, I feel the urge to stand up and do a PowerPoint presentation. I just think it’s important for everyone who is not a new parent to remember the following things when someone’s baby is annoying you.
1. You were a crying baby once.
I bet you annoyed someone like you. And I guarantee you could stink up a diaper as good as anyone. So don’t be a hypocrite.
2. You had a mother.
And she gave birth to you. (I’m not claiming to understand what any woman goes through in labor, but I have heard it is like “taking your bottom lip and pulling it over your head.”) The point is, every mother went through what your mother went through, so show some respect.
3. Children are the future.
Okay. I know that’s a song and not an original thought, but a good presentation has three points. (It would really create a moment here if the soundtrack could kick in while you are reading this.) Anyway, imagine what this world would be like without children. Before you get sarcastic with that last statement, really think about it. If this world was just full of adults, it would be a sad place.
I know there are some parents who act like the world revolves around their children. They totally ignore the distraction their baby makes in the middle of church, a restaurant or a professional setting. But most parents are doing their best to manage the situation. When you are flying above 10,000 feet, your options are limited.
So, next time you are in an airport, and you see a nervous mom getting ready to board the plane, look her in the eye, smile and say, “Thanks for being a mom.” Make your mother proud!
If you happen to be a mom, getting ready to fly, here are a couple of tips that could be helpful at disneyfamily.com and deliciousbaby.com.
Got any flying infant stories or tips?
loved this. As a mom with a new baby I get very anxious flying with her for this very reason!!!
My granddaughter cried all the way to Florida. She would tell mom boo-boo and point to her ears. Her ears would not pop. Mom did everything she could to keep her quiet. She’s 2. I think everyone should realize babies are not minin versions of adults. They have to be taught to do things like pop their ears.
My daughter was about 7 months old and wouldn’t stop fussing. We were between two men – poor guys! The only thing that would calm her was breastfeeding. So I did just that as discreetly as possible on a plane with 3 inches between us and those poor guys. We still laugh about the story they probably told to others!
Thank you for this post! I travel with my kids often and it can be stressful. The first time I flew by myself with both kids, my son was 2 and a half and my daughter was 3 months. It was actually a good experience, we had many people offer compliments and encouragement and we came across many kind people and it meant a lot to me. But never fails, there will be those people…those people who only offer stares and glares and whispers. It hurts; my kids are people too, little people who need more care than most. My son LOVES airports and airplanes and gets VERY excited to be there, but apparently that annoys some and they feel free to let me know. As a flying mom, I offer this advice to others, your kids are #1, no one else matters, when your kid is upset on the plane, don’t be embarrassed, jump into Mommy-mode and do what your baby needs from you. If you can’t help her then simply love her and the flight will be over soon! …oh, and gate check your stroller, a stroller is a lifesaver when you need your arms!
I love this! I can relate! I have 3 kids and we have always lived far from family, so we’ve had lots of experience flying! I’ve seen the good, the bad, and the ugly–in my children and from other passengers. In my opinion, the hardest age to travel with is around 4 or 5 b/c their little legs are just the right length the bump the seat in front of them, but not long enough to hang down. . .
Oh, and I have spoken up for the frustrated mother of a screaming toddler (at the grocery store check-out). People are so judgmental! Let’s all give a little grace, People! 🙂
I hope above all else, someone said to the mother with the crying baby “Hang in there mama!” Those words are like fresh air into a mothers sails. She saw the looks and the glares and maybe even heard the comments from others. But I guarantee that they didn’t help make that child be more quiet. Go team Moms!
I think part of the problem is parents in our society are starting to act as if their children have a right to throw a fit wherever they want or be disruptive when they feel like it and to ask them to stop would inhibit their free spirit or something. Those types of parents cause others to be more judgemental of moms with inconsolable babies like your mom on the plane. Perhaps not in this case as it sounds like this woman just had some personal issues she needed to deal with but who knows what she may have been struggling with before she boarded the plane. In a situation like an airplane, aside from a kind flight attendant letting mom use a crew cabin or something to seperate the crying baby from the rest of the flight it’s obvious nothing can be done and people need to understand that, but I just sat through a presentation of sorts where men returning from a church men’s encounter were giving a short testimony and a woman had turned the side of the room into “Romper Room” with 3 or 4 kids who were all playing rather loudly, climbing under the chairs and banging their toys. People were looking at the group but mom just kept playing with the kids right through one of the prayers that was given. A situation like that could have been moved to the hallway at least.
This is a great reminder to show grace and love wherever we are. I remember flying to China with my 18month old and it was so hard for that long (8hrs), babies dont understand that they have to be quiet, we had wonderful stewards though and they ended up walking our very active 18month old up and down the aisle for us, we were so grateful and I am sure so were the other flyers.
I haven’t traveled, flew, without kids since 2006. Even when I have my kids with me, if the baby is fussing, I offer to hold him or her for a few minutes to help the mom out. I let them know that I am there to hold their little one if they need to go to the bathroom or just need a break. I always tell mom’s with fussy babies this. I don’t know why, but I do. Most of the time, the babies quiet down and pay attention to my two kids and they distract the baby long enough for the mom to calm down. I love babies so much, I am prego with baby #3! I have a good friend with 6 kids! I love being around them so much that we hang out with our friends with kids as much as we can, and we help take care of each others children. I love being a mom, and it is a lot of work. Especially when your on an airplane with a fussy or never ending, crying baby.