How to Pull Up Beside Your Kid’s Insecurities

I believe that 2020 really sucked the confidence out of our kids.

But if we’re being honest, there were plenty of confidence-killing messages coming at them even before 2020. In the life of a preteen, their entire sense of worth can be thrown off by just one person making a comment about how they look, how they talk, how much money their parents have or don’t have, what kind of clothes they buy, how many friends they have, and how many likes they get on their social media platforms. 

And all of those things (and probably dozens more) come at them before they even start class in the morning. 

When you realize all the things kids are up against, it’s easy to see how feeling insecure is the norm. 

As parents, this is where we have the opportunity to meet our kids where they are. It’s our job to show them what confidence looks like. Here are four ways:

1. Share Your Insecurities 

Show your kids some of the struggles you have with confidence, and how you go about building confidence in yourself. There’s not a formula for giving confidence to our kids, but we can show what it looks like to have insecurities and to push through them. 

2. Model Humility

Before confidence, there needs to be a model of humility. When we teach our kids empathy and compassion, these strengths turn into a rich sense of self and others.

It creates a swagger in a kid. But it’s not the kind of swagger that proclaims, “Look at me!” when they walk into a room. But instead, it proclaims: “How can I serve here?” “How can I help?” 

3. Let Your Kids See You Try (and Sometimes Fail) 

This is something I love to do with my kids. I’m always trying new things—whether it be fly-fishing or magic or any new skill. I will never be an expert in these things, so my kids see me fail over and over. But then they see me slowly build confidence. So I like to think my kids are learning confidence not by me telling them how to, but watching me do it.  

4. Let Your Kid Be Just a Kid

Overcoming that negativity doesn’t happen overnight. The development of your kid’s confidence is a journey. Our job as parents is to join them so they’re not left to figure it out alone. Then, as kids are searching to find their confidence in something, we can help them to find it in something that’s grounded in the truth about them—something that won’t change even as they do. 

Looking for a way to point your kid down a path of discovering the confidence of knowing who God made them to be? Check out Press Play: A Kid’s Devotional to Build Confidence that Lasts at PressPlayBook.com