Why You Haven’t Completely Blown It as a Parent

Ever feel like you’ve completely messed up your kids, and now it’s too late to fix them?

If you knew what you knew now when they were babies, you would have been such an amazingly better parent. 

But you didn’t. 

And now they’re wrecked. Or, at least warped. 

Welcome to the club. I’m pretty sure 99% of all parents have been there. And we’re not actually sure the other 1% is human, in case you were wondering. 

Whatever age your kids are, there’s a nagging regret in most of us that says if we had a healthier marriage, worked less hard, were less distracted, or paid better attention to them, our kids would have had a better shot at life. 

There are two problems with that view.

First, it kind of ignores the fact that God is sovereign. 

Yes, you were younger and didn’t know as much when you had your kids. And you fought too much. And spent too much time of this and not enough on that…I know, I know. 

But God could have given your kids to anyone. 

He chose you. 

You may not feel up to the task, but God thinks you are. 

But, you say, why didn’t I do a better job earlier? 

One of the most frequent comments I hear from parents when I speak on parenting is “Where was this information when my kids were younger? I wish I could go back and fix everything I did wrong.”

Comments like that reflect the pervasive view that by the time our kids get to late elementary or early high school we think that it’s too late, that somehow we’ve blown it. And that certainly by the time they head out to college, our window of influence has closed. 

That leads me to the second reality. It’s just too easy to forget that parenting is a lifetime relationship. 

Think about your childhood. Maybe your parents fought a lot when you were young and you always wondered whether they’d stay together or not. 

Or maybe your dad drank too much or your mom was a little too selfish for everyone’s good. 

But then let’s imagine that when you were twenty, your parents changed. They patched things up. Dad stopped drinking. Mom started to care deeply about others. They asked for forgiveness. They sought reconciliation. They changed. 

Would that have an impact on you as an adult?

Absolutely it would. 

One of the amazing things about our God is that it’s never too late to do the right thing. 

It’s never too late to heal. It’s never too late to hope. It’s never too late to change. 

So if you think you’ve completely blown it with your kids…the good news is you haven’t. 

It’s not over. Not yet. Not now. Not at all. 

So what should you do in light of that?

Start doing what you wish you would have done a long time ago. 

Because it’s not too late. 

It’s never too late.