I tend to completely over estimate what I can get done. Some people call me a high capacity person, but honestly, I just have a hard time saying “no”.
It’s a weakness that I have to pay attention to. It’s a weakness that steals time away from my family.
In my home are four of the best teenagers you will ever meet. They are perfect in every way…well to me they are. I’m their mom. They are unique, and smart. They are dreaming of their future, and worried about passing biology. One is learning to drive and one is trying to get her SAT score up. There is SO MUCH going on in their lives right now!
In the early stages of their life, I was their world. We hung out every day. I made them breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Quality and quantity time were both happening and readily available. Now? Not so much.
At this stage in their life, I want to be a part of what they’re doing. I want to know. I want to help. I want to guide. I want to cheer them on.
Sometimes they want me there. Sometimes they don’t. The secret is being available.
One thing I learned as a young mother is that my children want me to see them as individuals. They want time to share their dreams and to complain that life’s not fair. They want to tell me about that teacher who didn’t cover anything that was on the test. They want to talk about a friend that’s going through a hard time.
They want to talk. Sometimes they want to hang out. Many times they want me to buy them something. Ha!
Mostly they want to feel like I know them.
Like I really see them.
Like they are heard.
I try to make one-on-one time a priority with my kids. Because of my natural drive to say “yes” to other things too often, I have to plan ahead and put this time on my calendar FIRST. I also have to regularly look back and re-evaluate my priorities. I don’t want to get off track! And when I do, I want to correct it quickly.
I wish I could tell you that I look back and see a perfectly orchestrated plan. But if you have kids, you know that there are no perfect plans. But when I look back, I do see some great discussions, some good food, quite a few sweet memories, laughter, and a lot of shopping!
I’ll take it.
We are honored to have Kendra Fleming, a dear friend, guest post on our blog. Kendra is the Director of Children’s Ministry at North Point Community Church in Alpharetta, GA. She lives in Cumming, GA with her husband Gary and their four children, Jessica (19), Catherine(18), Jack(15), and Emily(13).